Not For Lazy Relationist

Overview:
Love at Last Sight is about improving the most important relationships in your life in just 30 days. It was written by the same authors as One Month to Live. The book is broken down into chapters, and is meant to be read one chapter a day for thirty days. Each chapter deals with a different key to make the relationship in your life (husband-wife, parent-child, etc.) work and to make them richer and stronger.

My Thoughts:
Love at Last Sight is well written and gives many key insights into what will help to keep your relationships growing and flourishing. In this book you are encouraged to take the Love at Last Sight Challenge. There is a whole website dedicated to the challenge and filled with valuable resources to help you meet the challenge. Much of what you will read in Love at Last Sight won’t be new to you. The overarching theme is that it takes hard work to maintain relationships. The book does focus on ways to make all your work more beneficial so you get the best results for the work you put into the relationships. No more wasted relationship energy…hopefully. As mentioned before, you will also find additional resources on the Love at Last Sight Challenge website to help take the book one step further.

I recommend Love at Last Sight to anyone who is really serious about improving their relationships. If you are only interested in having casual relationships or don’t want to put in the work then this book is not for you.

A free copy of this book was provided to me by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing for review purposes.



Kerry & Chris Shook are also the well known authors of One Month to Live.

2010 in Ten Words or Less

I was reading a blog on January 1st that another minister’s wife had written. It was only ten words long but it spoke to me. It wasn’t a poem or a sentence. It was a list. A list of ten words encapsulated this woman’s experiences in 2010. It gave me pause. If I were to sum up my year in ten words or less, what words would I choose? Would we have any words in common? Would they be more positive than negative or vice versa? What memories and experiences stick out and determine the words I choose? Could I even do it—limit myself to ten words?

In the end, I still haven’t made my list. However, I have spent time praying about the things that I have seen and done in 2010 and the things that I would like to do or to do differently in 2011. It has helped me to focus my attention in a few measureable and achievable New Year’s Resolutions. Who knew that 10 simple words could have such depth?

How would you summarize your 2010 experience in 10 words or less?

Staying Connected

If you're like me, then you are super busy and you find it really hard to budget all of your time wisely. You might also find that since you are constantly busy and you work very hard that you are also very lazy when you do have down time. When I don't have things planned I tend to veg. Sadly, my busy schedule and veg-itude have horrible side effects. The major side effect is that my relationships tend to fall through the cracks.

From a very early age, I neglected relationships in favor or having more time to do what I wanted or just out of pure laziness or because I didn't think that I was good enough or cool enough to hang out with anyone. I never learned how to maintain a lasting, viable friendship. I don't know how to really stay connected with people. I am on facebook so that I can "keep up" with my friends but I don't make an effort to check their status updates as often as I could. I have a phone so that people can get ahold of me at any time but I rarely pick it up and call people. How can I truly be connected?

Problems in maintaining my earthly relationships have also bled over into my relationship with God. Sadly, I have passed over God for a chance to play more Xbox 360. I have neglected to talk to God because I have too many things that I want to do. I don't take time to find out what God has to say. How can I truly be connected?

Let me just tell you that typing this all out has really put a few things into perspective. It has also helped me think through some of the issues here. I think that the solution is the same for the spiritual as it is for the physical.

#1 STOP being Selfish!
My laziness is selfish. Point blank. Boom! There I said it. I am also selfish in my relationships because I try for a little while and then quit when I feel like the other person isn't returning the friendship or giving me enough attention. Me. Me. ME! Selfish. Stop it!

#2 START listening.
Being involved with God and being involved with your friends and really taking time to stop and listen is the key to great two-way conversation. This is a skill that I need to practice more. I need to learn to listen wholeheartedly. When they are talking I shouldn't be thinking about what I am going to say next or my come back for the argument. I need to pay attention to what is being said. I need to start listening.

#3 COMMIT to being active.
Once I have listened, I need to be active in sharing. Sharing can be scary, especially if you have trust issues like I do. But without a response the conversation is one sided and nothing gets done. That doesn't mean I need to have the last word, but it does mean that I need to be open to letting someone else know me as I really am--flaws and all.

Take time today to STOP being selfish, START listening, and COMMIT to be active in the relationship. See if things don't start to improve. I'm going to try it and I hope you will too.