Every Season Under the Sun

Grandma Lawrence a few years ago at her 90th birthday party.

I know that I don't usually blog on Sundays so I am not expecting a bunch of readers for this one. Not that this week would necessarily be a normal schedule anyway because of the holiday. But I thought I would blog today.

Right now I am sitting in my Grandmother's hospital room. I have been here since 7:00pm yesterday. Slowly and helplessly I have been holding her hand and watching her slip away. You never feel quite so powerless and useless as when you are watching a loved one suffer. There is nothing I can do and I wonder why I am here. I posted something to this effect in my Facebook status this morning. That's when Lisa reminded me that I am here for a reason. Whether that reason is for my own closure because I haven't seen my Grandmother in 2-3 years or maybe I am here to bring comfort to my mom. Who knows? Only God.

However, as I pondered this and many other questions I thought about Ecclesiastes chapter 3. I am not going to comment on these verses today. I will let them speak for themselves. They are powerful and can speak much clearer than a brain that went to be at 4:30am and got up at 7am. So here they are, Ecclesiastes 3:1-9:

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

 Please pray for my family--especially my mom--as they go through this though time. Thank you and God bless.

Valentines Day Special: Part Three

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
(a.k.a. Singles Awareness Day according to some SBU alumni)


Today I wanted to write one more blog about L-O-V-E. I could go to 1 Corinthians chapter 13, but I think that would be a little too cliche. Instead I want to share with you what I consider to be one of the greatest love verses in the Bible.

"But here is how God has shown his love for us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

This verse is short and to the point and that point is that God loves us. In fact He loved us so much that He gave up His perfect and only Son to come and die a horrible death on the cross so that He could have a relationship with us. If that's not love then I don't know what is.

Today, on Valentine's Day, celebrate your love for one another. Share the love with a friend who may not be married or dating yet. But most of all remember the love of Christ and share that with someone who needs that love today.

Other Resources:

These are a few other resources that can improve your marriage, dating, and life in general.

Valentines Day Special: Part Two

Valentine's Day is supposed to be a day where we celebrate the love in our life. Unfortunately it can also be a horrible day for those without the One in their lives. What would you say to me if I told you that everyone has the opportunity to be loved by the One everyday? It's true. It can happen. First, I want to talk about the five Greek words for love and then we will talk about the One.


When I think about the FOUR Greek words used to explain love I realize just how limited the English language can be. The Greek language uses the four different words at its disposal to explain the difference between the love you feel for your husband and the love you feel for your cheeseburger. In English it's just love. What a shame. No wonder people don't really understand what love means.


The first Greek word for love is Storge (στοργή) his means affection. I think when most people talk about their love for their cheeseburger they are talking about storge love...I hope.


The second Greek word for love is Philia (φιλία) this is a love between friends. You love your best friend, that's philia love. Ever wondered why the City of Brotherly Love is called Philadelphia well I think you are starting to get the picture now.

The third Greek word for love is Éros (ἔρως) this is romantic love or could also be translated erotic love. It is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing, but it doesn't have to be strictly sexual in nature. When we think about the commercialized version of Valentines Day the ad agencies are more than happy to sell us eros love. It can strong and passionate but it is often short lived. This is the love used to describe dating and marriage.


The final Greek word for love is Agápe (ἀγάπη) this is the unconditional love of God. Agape transcends any other kind of love out there. It is perfect and unconditional. Many people believe they agape their spouse or their boyfriend or girlfriend, but in reality the only person truly capable of perfect agape love is God. It is a sacrificial love.


Now...about everyone being loved by the One...


If you haven't figured it out by now, the One that I am referring to is God. God is waiting for each of us. He gave himself sacrificially to bring agape love to us. If we are willing to accept His sacrifice and ask forgiveness for our sins, He will never stop giving us the agape love we crave and were in fact created to receive. He wants to have a real and living relationship with us. He wants to be our Valentine, our love, and our desire. Even when we as humans fail, His agape love never will!


As husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends, we should be doing our best to give our significant other agape love. We should be willing to forgive and work through problems. Yes, there are times it won't be easy. Yes, we will fail. We are not God! We can only try to imitate and practice His agape love the best way we can. Thankfully, He is there to set the example in our lives if we will only start a relationship with Him.


Make God your Valentine this year and you will never be alone again!

Valentines Day Special: Part One

Obviously everyone is talking about Valentine's Day because it is just around the corner. Yesterday I was reading She Seeks--another awesome blog geared toward women--and the post was all about being Committed. Just so you know, She Seeks is a blog written by a community of female authors. Committed is this weeks post by Lisa Whittle.

The post itself was awesome but as I was reading the comments I was hit smack in the face with all the problems facing our marriages. Woman after woman talked about their struggles in their marriage. Sometimes they were the problem, sometimes it was their spouse, and your heart just breaks.

That's when I decided that my next few posts will be my Valentine's Day specials and will deal exclusively with love, dating, and marriage. It all starts today.



This song I have included here is called "Dancing in the Minefield" by Andrew Peterson. This first time I heard the title of this song I didn't have a clue what it was about. So take a good listen before you write it off. It's an awesome song about marriage. In a lot of ways, I think the chorus really sums up what marriage should be.

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

No matter whether you find yourself in the good times, the bad times, or the in between times don't give up. You are not alone! Cling to Jesus. Cling to your spouse. Be committed! Live by the promise you made to each other on your wedding day. Seek prayer and support. Your marriage is worth it.

More to come...

Lady in Waiting Book Review: A Tale of Two Janes

Overview:

Jane runs a family antique shop in New York, loves old things, and after 22 years of marriage now finds herself alone because her husband (Brad) needed some “space”. As she is coping with Brad’s abandonment and the possible end of her marriage, she finds a treasure hidden in the spine of an old book. It’s a ring, and not just any ring! It’s pre-Elizabethan and has a Latin inscription in it which includes one word she instantly recognizes—Jane. As present day Jane works through the problems in her life, she seeks to discover what became of Jane and the man who gave her this ring.

My Thoughts:
I’ll be honest, when I first picked up this book I wasn’t 100% sure that I was going to like it. I do love historical fiction—especially romance—so it did have that going for it. This is the first book by Susan Meissner that I have ever read. I wasn’t sure about reading a book that centered around possible romantic tragedy but the story telling and the plot were fantastic! They drew me in quickly and kept me entranced until the very end. I highly recommend Lady in Waiting, and it has inspired me to read more of Susan Meissner's work. Lady in Waiting is an engaging and rich story about two Jane’s and how their stories intertwine. Don’t miss out on this amazing book! And believe me, you’ll want to find out how it ends…

I give Lady in Waiting and recommend you buy it immediately! :)



See Other Works by Susan Meissner

     


I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

The Little Things

I know that I have written before about how Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University Changed My Life, but I was thinking about the little things that have changed in our lives since we started being more financially responsible. I also thought about dedicating that blog post to the two college couples in our student ministry who are getting married very soon and all the conversations I have had and will have with them about how to make their marriage strong and how to get by financially and just life in general. So as I sat there on a snowy Sunday afternoon clipping my coupons and later working on my design stuff, I thought I would write about a few of the things we do to make our marriage stronger and to get by financially.


3 Things Jimmy and I Do to Strengthen our Marriage:

• Spend Time in Prayer
 Every night when Jimmy comes in to tuck me in (he goes to bed later than I do) we spend time cuddling and talking and we end in prayer. It isn't long, but it is very meaningful. I love that he prays about 90% of the time! It isn't that I am not capable or that I don't want to, but that when he does it makes me feel protected and taken care of and loved.

• Communicate
 I have to be totally honest on this one. Sometimes our communication comes out in a loud volume or in a heated discussion but at least we are communicating. We make a conscious effort to try and let the other person know what's going on. Whether that is passing on important news, what we have done today, or taking the time to resolve an argument it's important and we try. We are NOT perfect and sometimes we fail miserably at communication but the important thing is that we try.
• We say "I Love You"
Jimmy is way better at this one than I am. I am not always a very open or verbal person (stop laughing because you are thinking about how long my blogs are). I am quick to tell him back but sometimes I fail at initiating those three little words. So I really do have to try. I want to be the one that says them first sometimes. So when I fail at the verbal I love Yous. I try to find other ways to let him know how much I love and respect him. Too often we forget the difference these three little words can make. If you aren't doing it already, try to say I love you (verbally or through your own method) to your spouse everyday and see what a difference it can make.

3 Things We Do to Be More Stable Financially:

• Live by Our Budget
After three plus years of following the Dave Ramsey Method. We are getting pretty good at making a realistic budget. Are we as good at keeping it? Not always. It takes a lot of self-discipline and weeks like this one where we get a little off track can be difficult and frustrating because we know better. Still having a plan that we can go back to when we realize that we have gotten off track helps. If you need help learning how to make a realistic budget or learning how to make your budget actually work please visit the linked blogs for more information.

• Yes, We Clip Coupons
This one takes a lot of time and effort but you can get really great results. Now I am not an extreme couponer like the ones they have TV shows about but I do make an effort to clip coupons for products that I know I need and for ones that I already use. I don't know about you, but there are a few products (like me girl stuff) that I am always going to buy my name brand for. It just makes me feel better. So why not save some money? There are a TON of great resources out there if you want to start saving some money with coupons. I suggest starting with Coupon Mom.

• Every Little Bit Counts
This is one of the biggest money savers! It is simply keeping in mind that every little bit counts! When we started thinking this way we changed a few things. We started putting our change into a jar and when the jar was full we would take it to the bank and deposit it into a special savings account. We now have a small but growing savings account that we are saving specially for buying things when we have our first baby (whenever that is)! I also started designing and selling items on Zazzle and Etsy and it turns out that people really like my work. There have been many months that I have been able to put a little more money toward dumping our debt and paying off our credit cards because of making every little bit count. It also opened up a whole new dream and realm of possibility for me. I don't know that I would every be pursing graphic and web design now if I hadn't given this a try in order to make extra debt payments.

Ok, I know that this post was really long! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I just had so much that I am thankful for and that I wanted to share with you. I hope that some of this has been helpful to you and encouraged you.

Grace and Peace,
Christiana

Other Resources:

• See Christiana's baby designs: The Baby Store at Zazzle.com
• See Christiana's Christian and general designs: Christianphotogirl at Zazzle.com
• Visit Christiana's freelance graphic and web design business: Mustion Design
• See Christiana's handmade and other custom designs: Master Design at Etsy.com

Married to the Funny Guy

My husband, Jimmy, has started a new blog. While I was reading it this morning, I laughed at all of his jokes and rolled my eyes at some of the things I know he said just to get a rise out of me. Jimmy is the funny guy. Right now he has undertaken a challenge to watch 365 different movies in one year--not one per day exactly--and blog about them. Part of this came from his own conviction about us owning just over 360 movies not to mention the ones we rent, Netflix, and see in the theaters. We're three posts into this blog and his posts are really good. He just has a way of drawing people in and making them laugh that I find more than a little intimidating. His quickness to laugh and be crazy--to be the funny guy--is a natural icebreaker. It amazes me! I wish I had a little bit of his natural, God given talent for making new friendships. It would make life so much easier.

As Christians, we should exude Christ in a way that draws people to Him--much the same as Jimmy uses humor. We are the light of the world. When all else is darkness people naturally gravitate toward the light. We shouldn't hesitate to share the good news with them. We shouldn't use the fact that it might not come naturally to us as an excuse to push people away or not share the love of Christ with them. It can't come naturally to all of us. Some of us--like me--will have to work really hard to build those relationships with people, but that doesn't mean I should give up. Don't let your fears and doubts about who you are or the gifts you have or don't have hold you back. Be who God created you to be--even if it isn't the funny guy--and share Christ in anyway you can!

If You're Interested...

• to learn more about Jimmy and his 365 day movie challenge, visit his blog  the 365 Blog Challenge.
• to learn more about the design work that I do, please visit my website Mustion Design

How Dave Ramsey & Financial Peace University Changed My LIfe

I don't know about you but I was 22 years old when I got married. I wasn't always one for thinking ahead. I had worked several jobs through my college life and I was holding down a job at the time. I was also in very little debt and had the blissful feeling right before entering repayment on my student loans. I thought I had everything under control when it came to money....dunt dunt duh....then I got married.


Not only does getting married change who you are as a person, it changes every other part of your life! I married the man of my dreams but it was more than that. I married into his family. I married into his ministry. I married into his money (or lack there of -- which was more like it). I also married into his debt.

Now Jimmy and I are a unique case. For personal reasons that I won't get into here, Jimmy has a lot of unresolved debt due to theft of his identity as a small child and mounting student loans. Thankfully, he told me about all this before we got married or we could have had WAY more financial problems than we did. As it was, we only had so much income and no plan to make it work, but we had credit cards!

We used our credit cards for a few little extras on our honeymoon and then we paid some of it off. We thought we were fine. Then Jimmy was told he only had four months left of his job and we began to panic. We scrimped and we saved and we put away birthday money and Christmas money. No fun for us that year. By the time the deadline rolled around we had $2000 in savings. I still had a job and I took on another and another. We thought we would be okay, but five months later our savings were gone, our credit cards were almost maxed out, I was working three jobs, Jimmy was still searching, and we still had no plan. It was stressful and frightening! Not to mention all the stress it can put on a new marriage! But we were not alone.

According to USA Today money is one of the top 3 marriage stressers out there. So what are you going to do about it?

In July, I was let go from one of my photography jobs and as a last resort applied to a job as a night monitor at the Missouri Baptist Children's Home. It's not what I wanted and if I got it we would have to leave our wonderful apartment in South County to move to a considerably less desireable (but more affordable) apartment in North County but I had no other hope. I got the job.

In August, we moved to Bridgeton and I started work. While I was in training I learned about Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University (FPU). God knew what he was doing when He brought me to the Children's Home and put me in Amy's (a die hard Dave fan) training class. As it turned out, Amy taught the FPU class at Ridgecrest Baptist Church. By the end of training, I was desperate to find out more about this class and I knew exactly who to go to.

When class started in September, I had a new job and so did Jimmy. We were prepared to hope that our situation could be different if we were ready to make drastic changes. We eagerly sucked up all the facts and techniques that Dave was willing to teach us and began trying to put them into practice. It was really hard at first and we were frustrated, but we knew where we would be if we quit. By the end of FPU, we had completed Baby Step #1: Put $1000 into an Emergency Fund and had begun Baby Step #2: Pay off Debt Using the Debt Snowball Method. Here we are a little over 3 years later and our life is so different!

Yes, we are still on Baby Step #2 but we have paid off more than $7,000 worth in debt with our limited incomes (guess what ministry doesn't pay much and we both have ministry jobs!). We also live by a budget that we actually know how to make work! We fight less about money (unless someone is just having a greedy or selfish moment). But best of all we have HOPE for the future. Yes, at times things still seem overwhleming, but we have a plan. I know that if we stay the course or do better than planned then we will be debt free (except student loans) in September of 2013. That means that just 6 years from starting we will have paid off more than $75,000 in debt with interest probably closer to $100,000. I think that's pretty remarkable.

I thank God for showing us how to find financial freedom. I thank God for Amy who God used to show us the way. I thank God for Dave Ramsey who God used to give us the tools, and I thank God for my husband, Jimmy, who has been with me all the way.

To find out how Financial Peace University can change your life, visit daveramsey.com or find a class near you!

this blog is dedicated to Shaina Rubin, Dustin Underwood, Shelby Conn, Kevin Little, and all people getting ready to start a new life together. may you get your marriages started off with the strong foundation and tools you need to make life easier and to help your marriages thrive.

Tangled Web of Emotions

I don't know about you, but for me today was one of those days when my emotions took me on a whirlwind ride. I was happy. I was sad. I cried and cried and cried some more. It started early in the morning and lasted all day. I was an emotional wreck and there seemed nothing that I could do about it.

I wanted to share with you this little clip of Patsy Clairmont. She is one of the funniest Christian speakers I know and I relate to her. She speaks in a way that I can understand and that touches my heart. In this clip she talks a little about emotions. I wanted to find the full clip but wasn't able to, but if you want to hear more you can always check out her book I Second that Emotion.

Anyway, the most important point she makes is that God created us to have all these different emotions and He accepts us no matter our emotional state. God wraps His arms around me on days like today when I can't stop crying because we had another unsuccessful month of trying to get pregnant and all hope seems lost. He rejoices with me when I am over joyed with a great personally victory and He is there with me at every emotional stop in between. Nothing I can do will surprise Him. There is no emotion I can have that His own Son did not experience (although I know Jesus handled all his without sinning!).

Prayer for today:
Thank you, God, for creating me with the full range of emotions. Thank you for being there with me as I go through these emotions. Please help me to share my joys with others and allow others to build me up when my emotions are not so good. Most of all, God, help me to cast all my cares and emotions on You.  Amen.

A Lifetime of Firsts

Bright and early this morning, I drove my sister to Lambert-St. Louis International Airport for her first ever flight. I could tell she was nervous and excited and probably a little scared (although she would never admit it! so I didn't even ask.). Last night before bed we talked about all the important things to know and do and bring on a flight. It was nice to know that my life experience was benefiting someone else. Still all the knowledge in the world can't curb the "first timer" jitters.  It wasn't until all three of the people she was meeting had arrived and they had all checked in that she really began to relax. It's fun watching someone go through a good experience for the first time...not so fun if it is a bad experience.

Life is full of first timer events. Sometimes they are good--like this morning--and sometimes they are bad. We should embrace our first timer experiences and learn from them. Our knowledge and experience may benefit someone else later on down the road.

Anniversary Celebrations

Yesterday, Jimmy and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. We had made some last minute change of plans since we weren’t able to take the big trip we had planned. Jimmy was so cute when he decided that he wanted everything to be a surprise. It was kind of a challenge because I do most of the driving in our relationship and when we got into the van last night, I still had no clue where we were going. That’s a scary thought when you are driving around in St. Louis traffic.


All the unknown and jitters made for an extra exciting evening. I think this was the first time I have not known any of the details since our very first date! It was cool. When Jimmy had finally directed me to our destination, we were at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Chesterfield. I knew as soon as we got there that he had picked this restaurant especially for me. Jimmy doesn’t even like spaghetti! (He does like alfredo sauce though so I knew he would be in good shape.) It was nice to know that he had truly put me first the whole night.

Yeah, marriage is hard work, but it can be oh so rewarding. Without the work we can never fully appreciate the good moments. They are precious and priceless!

Thank you, Jimmy, for making our fourth anniversary truly special and for all the little things you do to show me you love me each and every day. I am glad that God brought us together. You are amazing!

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

Dustin's Story

Wow! This week has been something else! I’m going to try and tell you a little about what has happened without going on and on and on…okay I am sure you get the picture.
Geez…I really don’t know where to begin.

A Little History
Many of the youth and college students at Villebrook come from broken homes. We even have several that have never met (or can’t remember) one of their biological parents. This blows my mind because I never had to go through that. I am very thankful that as weird as my family is, we have always been together. Anyway, back to this week…

About Dustin's Past
One of our college students, Dustin, has never met his biological father. Since June Jimmy and Dustin’s girlfriend Shaina have been praying that Dustin would try to find his biological father. Shaina’s grandmother even urged Dustin to find his father for medical history because of the strong migraines he has. Dustin just wasn’t ready yet.

Dustin has had an interesting family history. During the young years of his life, he thought that his mom’s first husband was his dad. It wasn’t until after they got a divorce that his mom told him that he wasn’t Dustin’s father. Then there was a while when he didn’t have any kind of father. Later his mother re-married and the man Dustin now considers his father came into his life. All the while he thought that his biological father wanted nothing to do with him and that he wasn’t around and that he didn’t even send child support to help him out.

About Dustin Now
Now Dustin is 20 years old. He has had some real upheaval in his life. He has been supporting himself for the past couple of years and just like everyone else he has suffered from the lull in the economy. After Dustin lost his job, stopped taking college classes because he couldn’t pay the tuition, and his car got repossessed Dustin’s mom kicked him out of the house and told him that she didn’t want anything to do with him until “you get your life back together.” So for the last couple of months they haven’t really seen or spoken to each other.

I have been proud of the Dustin and the attitude that he has had even through all of these things. Although he hasn’t had a job, he hasn’t let depression win. He has stayed committed to daily Christian disciplines, his relationships, and to church. I am proud of the man that God is shaping him into. Through this process, God brought Dustin to the point where he was finally open to meeting his real father.

As Dustin talked to Jimmy about this we all secretly rejoiced inside. They talked about how to find his father and all the possible reactions that could happen when Dustin found him. When Dustin called his Grandma to find out everything that she could about his biological father, he began to prepare himself for the worst.

Through his Grandma, Dustin learned his father’s name, last known city of residence, and employer. Knowing it was a long shot; he sat down one night last week and typed his dad’s name, employer, and city into Facebook. Only one name came up in the search. Through closer investigation, it became clear that his man was Dustin’s father! Now the question was what to say…

Through his father’s profile he learned that he had two half-sisters. Thankfully they also had Facebook profiles so he was able to send the oldest a friend request. All the time not knowing how to break the ice, Dustin prayed and pondered and tried to find the words to say “Are you my family?”

What Happened this Week
This week, Dustin received a message from his half-sister via Facebook. She was SO excited! It turns out that she had originally accepted his friend request because she thought he looked familiar and might have been someone from her high school, but when she and her mom were looking through her Facebook friends her mom recognized Dustin. She knew right away that he was her husband’s son who had been lost but not forgotten. The message was awesome! Best of all it broke the ice and Dustin didn’t have that burden anymore! God worked it all out perfectly!

Since the original message, Dustin has conversed constantly with them over Facebook. Plus he also talked to his father on the phone for several hours. Then last night at church, Dustin met his dad for the first time that he could remember! Just being there and witnessing it was a truly awesome experience! Now Dustin has the opportunity to know a part of him that has been hidden all these years.

As it turns out, Dustin’s dad (Mike) has made several attempts over his life to find Dustin. He was even successful a couple of times although he was never allowed to see him. The last time he had seen Dustin he was one and half and he brought him some presents for his birthday. Dustin’s half-sisters have grown up knowing about Dustin all their lives and have even had a picture of him in their house. Dustin found out that he has three sisters that he knew nothing about but who have loved him all the same.

Needless to say, it will be a long road as they all get to know each other for the first time. BUT what an amazing road it is! Aren’t you glad that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him?

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

You Then Me

You Then Me

by Rebeccah St. James

It's my turn, it's not your turn
It's my turn, get outta my way
It's my turn, go on complain
I'm comin' through anyway
Don't ask me why I'm like this
But lately I'm wonderin' if
It's come to pass
That the last shall be
first and the first shall be last
Then the voice says...

CHORUS:
Here's the way it oughtta be
You then me, then you then me
Well, I pray one day we'll all agree
And take it you then me, then you then me
Life could go you then me, then you then me

It's easy, you wait then go
It's easy, so make your move
It's easy, don't clown around
Could've gone six times by now
But no sir, you gotta be a pain
Or is this your own way of sayin'
We should all cool down
And be more like the man
who was born back in Bethlehem town?
I betcha He'd say...

CHORUS

BRIDGE

If we could only put You first
Maybe this ugly trend could one day be reversed

It's your turn, it's not my turn
It's your turn - well, let's just say
We'll trade off - first you then me
Then after that, we might agree

Let's try it, it could be good
And what if one day it should
Really come to pass
That the last shall
be first and the first shall be last
Betcha we'd say

CHORUS

In our nightly devotions, Jimmy and I have been studying about how love puts the other person first. This is something that I believe all people struggle with in their daily lives as well as in their marriages. It is so easy to say me, me, me and forget about the other person. When we let selfishness win continually then we are doing serious damage to our relationships. Selfishness smothers love and doesn't allow it to grow. Over time it can kill it completely. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce! It's all because we can't look beyond ourselves and put the other person first.


"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 

Money Madness

If you are married, I would bet a whole heck of a lot that you have had at least one fight with your spouse about money. If you are single then you probably just fight yourself about what to do with money. In today's world money is one of those things that you can't live without because we just don't barter in the US. You have to go to work and make money to pay the bills, buy the groceries, put gas in the car, and all the million other things you do. So what's the big deal? Money is necessary--a necessary evil, some would say--but it can't be the ruling force in your life, marriage, or ministry.

Why is Money so Maddening?

Today I was looking at the statistics and money is still one of the leading causes of divorce. Why does something so small as paper and coins cause so much stress and drama in our lives? I think the answer is two fold.

First, you need money to meet your basic needs such as food, clothing, and shelter. If you don't feel that you have the money you need to meet these needs and wants then things start to get hairy and many people panic.

Second, money becomes maddening when you lose the proper perspective of its role in your life. The Bible says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (1 Tim. 6:10) When we lose sight of the fact money is designed to meet our basic needs rather than to be an object of love and obsession, we give love too great a priority in our lives. It becomes maddening because the lack of money now is an issue of love and statisfaction. When you love money you let it define you. It is who you are. It shows your social status and importance in society. It is no longer just a tool. It must be obtained at all costs. This is where marriages get into trouble.

Why Money Ends Marriages.
This is just my opinion, but I believe that money is one of the leading causes of divorce when one or both spouses lose their perspective and begin to love money. Then the issues of mismanagement, lack of funds, who makes more, and who spends more become mangnified to the point that they become life altering issues. You become selfish of things and people when you love them. It is the same with money. If you love it and you don't feel you are getting your fair share of it you become angry. If you are living in anger, you can't live in love. In the realm of human capabilities these two emotions, love and anger, are very mutually exclusive. Why do you think Jesus says, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." (Matt. 6:24 & Luke 16:13)

Your Thoughts

I have given you my thoughts on Money Madness. Later this week, we will talk about ways to help manage your money and fight the money madness. But for now I want to hear your thoughts. Why do you think money is so maddening? Why do so many marriages end over money?