Girl Time

One thing that I don't get much of but I truly enjoy having is girl time. It's nice to hang out with other women of God and just laugh and have a great time. Too often our lives get to busy to build those relationships and we miss out. The Bible tells us over and over again the great benefits of having a close Godly friend--I personally think that other than your spouse your best friend should be of the same gender. It just makes things WAY less complicated! So I wanted to give a little shout out to Rebeccah and Shelby who hung out with me at the mall yesterday before I move on to talk about the benefits of having a close friend. You made my day! Thanks for being patient with me while I counted out the Jelly Bellys so that I didn't go over my calories. You're both the best!


The benefits of having a girl time with a close friend:
Number One: A Friend Sticks Closer than a Brother
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
If you have an awesome girlfriend, hold on to her. Do what you can to grow and nourish that friendship. You can't go around and be BFFs with everyone. That's a little of what the first part of the verse is talking about. When you have "many companions" you are letting all your acquaintances have just as much say and influence in your life as your best friend who you know and trust. This can be bad--especially if not all your friends are Christians. I also think "the friend who sticks closer than a brother" has to be a Christian who is doing their best to live their life for God otherwise they don't understand true commitment or loyalty or forgiveness that friendship really needs.


Number Two: You Can Trust a True Friends Words Even if They Hurt
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6
A true friend will tell you what you need to hear even if you don't want to hear it. Your Christian friends should be challenging you to go even further in your walk with Christ. They should hold you to a high standard. Yes, sometimes it might hurt your feelings if they call you out on your non-Christian behavior or dress but they are doing it because they want to see your relationship with Christ grow. A true friend's motives can be trusted. They shouldn't just tell you what you want to hear even if they know it's wrong.


Number Three: A Friend Loves at ALL Times
"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17a
A true friend loves you for who you are. They love you when you are doing the right thing. They love you when they are doing the wrong thing (even though they shouldn't agree and should point you back in the right direction. See #2). They aren't fickle. They don't try to pit you against your other friends. They love you as is and as unconditionally as possible. And if you are their true friend you do the same for them.


Okay, so I know there are so many other benefits to having awesome friends. I challenge you to find some and post them in the comments section.


I also want to say, congratulations to Hermione Williams on winning our first ever prize giveaway! Hermione, please email me your mailing address so I can get your prize pack out to you right away! Keep an eye out for more chances to win in the future. Thank you for everyone who participated and thank you for reading Life as a Minister's Wife!

Pulled Down

As you know, Jimmy is the youth minister at Villebrook Baptist Church and I work with him in the youth ministry. Last night, I saw another classic example of a student whose pride is getting the better of them. This student thinks that they are SUPER mature spiritually (and they are a good Christian) and that they can hang out with whoever they want, whenever they want because they are helping the other person and they are too strong to fall into temptation. This attitude makes me so sad. The Bible calls us to be holy and separated from the world (1 Peter 1:16; 1 Peter 2:9). There is a reason for this!

Picture This
Picture in your head a diving board that’s two feet above the water. You are standing on the very end of the diving board and your identical twin is in the water below you. If you try to pull this person (who is exactly the same height and weight as you) out of the water bellows, 9 times out of 10 you are going to end up in the water! Now imagine that this person is twice your size and the odds of you getting them out of the water rather than you falling in becomes even more unlikely. So how does this apply to life?

Life Application
As a Christian you are called to be on the “diving board”. You should adhere to higher morals, higher standards, and you should remain above board in all that you do. Yes, God does call you to reach down and try to pull the people out of the pool who are drowning in their sins. However, if you are spending all your time pulling and pulling and trying to bring people up to your level, eventually you won’t have the strength to crawl out of the pool when you get pulled in. When this happens you will find that you too are soaked to the bone with sin and bad choices and low moral standards. That’s why you need to surround yourself with other Christians. They can not only help you pull people out of the pool. They can give you a rest when you are weary and hold you accountable on how close you are to falling in. Your Christian brothers and sisters should be your closest friends. They should be the ones you are relying on. If your closest friends are the people that are constantly pulling down on you that is SO not healthy for you spiritually. They can’t revived your spirit or lift you up. In fact, they will probably grab a hold on you when you fall in and practically drown you.

Closing Remarks
So while it is good to witness to people and to have non-Christian friends in your life, I urge you to keep them at a distance. Don’t depend on them to be your best friend or to always be there for you (Christ is the only one who will never let you down). Let your “inner circle” be filled with your Christian friends who should do everything in their power to build you up and not to tear you down. Don’t get caught up in the pride that makes you blind to your own weakness. If you do then you will fall.

the Friendship Issue

A couple of days ago, I was having a really crummy day. I woke up in pain. I had to get everything ready for the day. I was disappointed that my plans had fallen through, and in short nothing was going right. I really needed a girlfriend that I could talk to, vent to, and who would give me a big hug in the end. The problem was that I didn't have a girlfriend like that readily available to me. The question is "Why not?". This is what I call the Friendship Issue.

What is the Friendship Issue?
Friendship is one of the best gifts that God has put into our lives, but why does it have to be so hard? Then you add the fact that you are married to a minister into the equation and it makes things infinitely harder. Why?

Friendship is harder when you are in ministry or married to someone in ministry for a couple of reasons.

Number 1: You must surround yourself with people who are holding to a high Christian standard and won't bring you down all the time. You're getting enough people tearing you down without your friends doing it too.

Number 2: Your friends MUST be able to keep your confidences without it affecting the way that they view your church, your ministry, or even you. This is why I personally find it very hard to have intimate friends in my own church. In general, they can't separate your struggles from what's going on in the church.

Number 3: When you are in ministry you will probably relocate several times and distance can often cause problems in maintaining friendships.

How Do I Solve the Friendship Issue?
When I have days like the one above, what do I do? I am still learning this myself, but so far this is how I have learned to handle it. If you have any helpful suggestions I am more than willing to hear them as I am still learning in this area.

Number 1: First and foremost, I turn to God. I pray and tell Him how I am feeling. I ask Him to show me how to get through this.

Number 2: I have developed a small core of women (most of whom are other ministry wives) that I trust implicitly and who I know care about me. Most of all they know what I am going through because they have most likely gone through it to. These are the women I call when I need to vent, to cry, to share my joys, or to chat.

Number 3: Never be afraid to ask for help. If your tried and true friends aren't available, God can and will meet that need through someone else. Pray about it of course, but I am sure that you have a bunch of godly women in your life that have been wives much longer than you have and who are more than willing to listen to you and comfort you and help you. Just make sure that they aren't the church busy-bodies. Use common sense and good judgment but don't be afraid to reach out to these women. They may be the most unexpected blessing of the day.

Closing Thoughts
I know that this isn't a fool proof method and I know that many of us have and probably will be burned by friendships again but you can never stop making friends. If you cut yourself off from the world you won't be able to handle life. It is important that no matter how many bad hands life deals to us that we just keep on living. The best way to do this is through forgiveness, faithfulness, and friendship...but that's another story

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."