I don't know who made up the little saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I know that I have heard that a million times and I probably even chanted it on the playground as a child. Let me tell you--as if you didn't know--it's a LIE!
It drives me crazy how "innocently" people will say things but their words strike you to the very core. I had this experience a couple of weeks ago, and it was over something totally trivial. I missed church one Sunday because I had been cleaning our apartment and preparing our things to be moved out in a few weeks. There was a ton of dust and my allergies kicked into high gear making me very sick. The next time that I returned to church I was asked where I was last week and why I had missed church. I told the gentleman my story and he preceded to tell me that if I took the time to clean my house every week then I wouldn't have that problem. Ouch!
Words cut like nothing else. Chew on this... James 3:5 says, "Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." Here James is comparing the power of the tongue to a spark that starts a raging forest fire. James draws several other comparisons that all lead us to the same conclusion--the tongue is a small but powerful weapon. It can be used for either good or ill (James 3:9-12).
Although I know that this older gentleman probably didn't mean any real harm, I wish that he would have chosen his words with a little more care. They weren't funny and they didn't do anything but cause hurt and make me feel like an inadequate wife/woman. I hope that the next time I start to say something careless I will pause for a minute and remember how I felt in this moment before I just blurt something out with considering the cost.
Other Resources:
"Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!'" Proverbs 26:18-20
"LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor,and casts no slur on others;" Psalm 15:1-3
in some parts of asia theres a proverb that goes like this "tongue is the first weapon of men, and tongue is first tool to make friends." well it sounds better in hindi.
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