We All Need a Little Dirt

This year I feel like Spring Fever has really hit me! Never before in my adult life have I lived in an actual house and had space to do a lot of grown up things such as--mowing the yard OR starting a garden. HOWEVER, this year I DO LIVE IN A HOUSE!!! We are renting here in Saint Joseph but I was SO excited when I talked to the property manager and they said that we could have a small garden as long as we replant the grass again when we move.

Let me tell you...I'm excited! I went out and bought a seed starter just like the one above, and all my seeds and came home feeling like a real gardener. Well as my hubby would tell you my tiny garden starter didn't look like much. Even after I had expanded all the little soil pellets and planted my seeds it still looked pretty brown and dead but to me it was full of POTENTIAL.

Now that it has been a few days, I am beginning to see little baby seedlings sticking their heads out of the dirt. The planter still doesn't look like much but you can now tell that it is full of life. It reminds me about my own life. Sometimes things seem like a brown wasteland without much going on. It's during those times that I need to stop and realize that I am full of potential. I am empty and awaiting God--the gardener--to come and fill me up with life giving seeds of hope and joy and peace and to water it all down with His grace and mercy. Then in HIS time I will see new growth. It will start small but it's there nonetheless.

I look forward to sharing more pictures from my garden with you as it grows and changes. Maybe it will be a blessing to you too.

When Your Heart is Broken

I am not naive. I know that life can be seriously hard. Why does it have to be so heartbreaking? Last night, Jimmy and I sat in a room with two of our good friends. We listened to their story and you could almost hear their hearts breaking. The longer they talked the more you just want to reach out and give them a big hug and tell them everything is going to be alright. Well in the end, I did give out a big hug to both of them, but I just couldn't say it was going to be okay.

In life their are so many unknowns. Thankfully God takes care of us. I don't believe that religion is a crutch by any means but I am SO glad that I do have a Savior who loves me and cares for me and provides for me and I can lean on Him when I know I can't take one more breath on my own. In these times, I seek to learn the lesson of Romans 5:3-5 "also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Then when I have learned to find the bright side of my problems maybe I will be able to help someone find the light at the end of their tunnel.

To all of you with the gift of mercy and to whom this comes very easily, I applaud you. Thank you for picking up the slack for people like me who have very little mercy. Thank you for showing us by example how to minister to the broken hearted. May we never give up even when it feels like our hearts are broken into a billion tiny pieces for Christ is the healer of our souls. He loves us, and He will build us back stronger than we were before.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:16 & 17

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

Why NOT Me God?

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article called "Why Me God?", and in it I discussed reasons people would question God for the things happening in their lives. As I considered this question I also thought, how often do we complain to God about the things that aren't happening in our lives? So this is my response to my own pondering (yes, I do talk to myself frequently).

Why Isn't the World Fair?

"Why not me God?" This is a question I think that I have asked about a million times. I particularly struggle with this question when it comes to having children. I am going to take a moment and share something really personal with you, so if you don't struggle with this please don't judge me but if you do then maybe you will know exactly where I am coming from.

These are my Struggles:

• I am a good person, living a good life, and doing God's work, why can't I get pregnant?
• Why do people who don't want kids have kids, and I desperately want kids but can't seem to have them?
• Why do teenagers who aren't responsible enough and people who abuse children have kids, and we would love and care for our kids but we haven't been able to have any?

In short, why isn't life fair? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why aren't they happening for me?

Because God Loves

The reason life isn't fair and the only answer to my question is that God loves us--all of us--good, bad, and ugly. He shows His love by giving us grace and mercy and forgiveness. Although it's hard to hear, God has His reasons for doing things and not doing things and they will always work out according to His perfect plan and purpose.  Matthew 5:45b says, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." He often gives us things that we don't deserve--grace-- and He doesn't give us things we do deserve--mercy--because honestly we deserve punishment. Remember Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Take Heart

Although we don't understand God, His plan, or what He is doing or not doing in our lives, TAKE HEART! Read the promises He has given us through His word and remember...

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

To all of you who are struggling with these questions, know that you are not alone.