The Devil Within

Sorry that I didn't get my post in on Monday this week for any of you regulars, but honestly I didn't think that I was even going to bother. I don't know about you but it has been one of those weeks/months/years for me when you just feel like giving up and not caring anymore. I have been struggling. There I said it! You don't know how good it feels to say that and how hard it was to type those four little words.

When you are in ministry it's hard to admit that you have problems and that you struggle because people expect you to be perfect and they judge you when you are not. It's like they believe that because you serve God that magically you don't have any troubles or problems or issues and if you are then you really don't have a real relationship with God like you claim. It's just not true.

Men and women in ministry struggle just like everyone else--somtimes more because we often are forced to hide our struggles or face the judgement of our Christian peers. So I feel like what I am going to share with you this week is a really big deal, and I pray that you will not judge me. I hope that God will use my struggles to help someone else who feels like they are as helpless as I have been feeling of late.

Today marks the twelve week point of my renewed healthy lifestyle journey, which includes diet and exercise. I have been using the Bodybugg and it's program to help gauge the work I am doing to eat right and be healthy. Being healthy is a struggle, and so is having a healthy body image. As an added little bonus I want to share with you an awesome clip of Mandisa on The Today Show as she talks about self-esteem, body image, and her Freedom CD.

Although I still struggle with my body image, lately my struggles have been different. I call it "the devil within". The thoughts and struggles and emotions I have been feeling have all been negative. I haven't been happy or excited. I don't feel worthy. You name it and if it's negative then I have probably been thinking it.

Last night as I talked with my husband and this morning as I watched the Mandisa clip I began to realize a couple of things. There are probably two big things that are contributing to "the devil within" that I have been dealing with: #1 I have felt like God isn't listening to me or caring about me and #2 I grew up with important female figures in my life who were always negative about themselves. Together these two things have developed and re-enforced patterns of negativity in my life. Now I have to fight against them every single day and more often than not I lose.

However, I am encouraged that there are people in my life who are always there to encourage me and build me up--even when I can't see anything good inside myself. I pray that with time I will feel closer to God than ever before and that the love and support of the people in my life will begin to counter act the negativity of my childhood influences.

If you struggle with negativity toward yourself, you are not alone. God loves you and there are others in your life who love you too. Join me in fighting a daily battle to change our negative mindsets. It won't happen overnight and trust me it won't be easy but all things are possible through Christ (Phil. 4:13)!

More Resources:

My Emotional Journey Through Music

A couple of nights ago, I was feeling a little down so I started listening to some music videos on YouTube. The videos that came to mind formed an interesting progression and I think that they showed where I was from beginning to end. The main reason that I wanted to share with you because where I ended up really made me laugh. I have shared some of these videos with you before so I apologize if you don't like repeats. Anyway...

I present to you my emotional journey through music!

Blessings by Laura Story

Held by Natalie Grant

Stronger by Mandisa

What if Your Best by FFH

I was actually searching for the Blue song from Madame Blueberry but I came across the "Stuff Mart Song" instead and I really love this song so I decided to listen to it instead. Unfortunately embedding has been disabled so if you want to listen to this one you are going to have to view it on Youtube.com by Clicking Here to view the Stuff Mart Song.

Endangered Love (Silly Songs with Larry)

By this time I was laughing and feeling much better. I ended the night by listening to "The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo".

The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo (Silly Songs with Larry)

March 2011 Prize Giveaway

Here it is...the moment you all have been waiting for!!!

The March 2011 Prize Giveaway is HERE!

Starting today and going through March 31st, you will have the chance to enter in our first ever prize giveaway. The contest will end at midnight CST and the winner will be announced on Monday, April 4th.

Want to know want you can win?

The March 2011 Prize Pack containing:

	(card front)
Idoleyes by Mandisa	10 pack of blank Greeting Cards designed exclusively by me	$15 iTunes Gift Card

How to Enter to Win:
This prize pack will be given away by random drawing. You can enter the drawing up to 8 times. You are entered to win each time you complete one of the 8 tasks listed below. Each task can only be completed 1 time per person. This contest is only open to residents of the US.

#1 Follow this blog using the "Follow" button and comment on this post saying you have followed the blog. If you are already following the blog, leave a comment here stating that and you will still be entered for this task.

#2 Rate my You Just Said S-E-X book review using the rating tool at the bottom of the blog post and leave a comment on that post saying that you have rated that review.

#3 Rate my Not for Lazy Relationist book review using the rating tool at the bottom of the blog post and leave a comment on that post saying that you have rated that review.


#4-8 Get up to 5 friends to join this contest! When they complete task #1 they need to include your name in their comment about following this blog or you will not get credit or receive an entry for their participation.
 
Most of all, HAVE FUN!
 
Again, this prize giveaway contest ends at midnight on Thursday, March 31st. The prize winner will be announced on Monday, April 4th. This contest is only open to US residents. It is the responsibility of the winner to contact me via my blog within two weeks of the winners announcement on this blog so that I can get the address where prizes should be mailed.

Idoleyes Book Review

Hello, Everyone! A week ago I told you that I was reading Idoleyes by Mandisa. I also promised that when I was finished I would post a book review, and here it is.

Overview:
Idoleyes is an auto-biography by former American Idol contestant Mandisa. Although the book centers mainly around her experience auditioning for, participating in, and after effects of American Idol, the reader is also given stories from her path and what led her to audition with American Idol. The book is full of highs and lows, personal triumphs and defeats, and most of all Mandisa’s love for Christ and scripture.

My Opinion:
I’m just going to come right out and say it…I loved this book! From the foreword by Beth Moore to the very last page I was hooked. I am a Mandisa fan. I have been since I was first introduced to her on American Idol. So to say I was biased from the start is more than a little pointless. However, I want to make one thing absolutely clear—I didn’t read this book from cover to cover because of American Idol. I was intrigued by Mandisa because of American Idol (side note: my husband and I choose who we think are going to win once they reach the live show—I picked Mandisa), I was drawn in when I saw her sing at a Women of Faith event, but I read the book because of the candid honesty I felt from Mandisa in the very first chapter.

Mandisa is open and honest about the struggles she faced before,

during, and after American Idol and I could relate to that. It was a breath of fresh air to know there is another real person out there. So many times we get wrapped up in hiding our imperfections that we miss the opportunity to share what God has done despite us, but Mandisa does not miss a single opportunity in this book!

I give Idoleyes and highly recommend it to any woman who has ever struggled with food, self-image, or doubt because God doesn’t work in our ways or on our time tables.

I hope you will read it and be encouraged too.

Visit Mandisa's Official Website        
Read Mandisa's Official Blog

Dealing with Weight Issues & Food Addictions

Yesterday, I started reading "Idol Eyes" by Mandisa. For anyone who doesn't know, Mandisa is an AMAZING Christian music artist. She has the most beautiful voice and even better than that she is a beautiful person inside and out. Like most people I was introduced to Madisa through the TV show American Idol. Although Mandisa didn't win, she was a very well known contestant for 3 reasons. #1 She was an outspoken Christian witness. #2 She rocked her vocals almost every week she performed. #3 After she left her audition, Simon made comments about her weight.



In reading her book, I am beginning to understand a little more about her world and her struggles with eating and being overweight. These are not things that are foreign concepts to me. I know exactly where she is coming from. Although I don't look it, I am just over 100lbs over my healthy weight range (although I really hate the whole BMI scale because it doesn't take into account build and muscle mass). Also, my husband, Jimmy, deals with major weight issues.

For the past 19 months, Jimmy and I have been making major life adjustments when it comes to eating and exercising. I have to admit that Jimmy is doing much better than I am. When it comes to food I find that I cave WAY too easily. Mandisa would say that we are both "addicted to food" and it's true. It's not that I eat when I am stressed. I eat when I am bored and when I socialize. Unfortunately those two things happen often which makes temptation great. The question is...

How do you overcome an addiction to food?

The only true solution is to trust God and work really hard to overcome it with His help. Does that make it easy? No way! To believe that just because you asked for God's help your struggles are automatically going to go away is naive. God equips us to "do all things through Christ who gives [us] strength." (Phil. 4:13)

Practical Tips for Overcoming a Food Addiction:

1. Eliminate Easy Access

If you are a snacker, throw away all your junk food. Get it out of the house, apartment, office, car, or other snacking locations. If you really must have something try replacing it with healthier foods.

2. Find a Support Network

You need people who support you and will pray for you as you try to make lifestyle habits that will help you overcome your food addictions and weight problems. If there isn't anyone to ask you the hard questions then what's to stop you from falling right back into your bad habits?

3. Make a Plan

If you fail to plan then you plan to fail. Create a food plan. Know what foods and how much of them are okay to eat. Plan to exercise. Plan to report in to your support network. Plan your benchmarks and goals. Plan to succeed.

4. Pray and Memorize Scripture

This really could be number one but I like to list this hear because by the time you do the other three steps you will have more specific prayer needs and you will know what kinds of weaknesses you need to memorize scripture to help you with.

Although it won't be easy, you can succeed. You might mess up but it you get up and get back on track then you can keep going. God wants you to succeed. He wants you to find freedom in Him. He will give you the tools. Just ask Him. That's a great place to start!