A New Word from an Old Passage

Monday I promised you that I would write about what I learned from Brother Frank on Sunday. As a rule, I try never to break my promises so here it is... (if you don't know what I am talking about read You Never Let Go" )

In 2008, my parents and sisters joined Union Hill Baptist Church in Holts Summit, MO. Three years later I had still never been to their church although I had the opportunity to meet some of the church members and I had met Brother Frank three times before (when mom was in the hospital, at a women's conference, and at my grandma's funeral) so I was excited to finally be able to come experience this church they love and to actually hear Brother Frank preach. I wasn't disappointed.

After Scotty shared his testimony and sang, I knew that God had brought me to Union Hill Baptist Church on this particular Sunday for a reason. I was actually supposed to come the week before but we had to postpone mom's surprise party due to grandma's death. God knew what he was doing sending me here this Sunday instead of last.

The sermon was over a group of passages that I have heard preached several different times. Often you hear the same message from the same passage but not this time. For the first time, I realized several of the verses that Brother Frank was lumping together into one sermon are often preached individually. How many times have you heard a sermon from 1 Peter 5:7, "casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you"? or 1 Peter 5:8, "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"? It actually didn't dawn on me until we read them all together that they are actually back to back verses in the Bible (I have a bad problem of remembering the verse but not the reference)! When we read them all together they took on a whole new meaning for me.

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11 NLT

Although these verses have great meaning individually, I think they are way different when you consider them all in relation to one another.

Brother Frank shared that Scotty was right. We all go through rough spots in our lives. We take some hits and we feel the sting of disappointment but you have to hold on to God. It all starts with being humble. God promises that if we humble ourselves before Him then at the RIGHT time HE WILL lift us up. But that requires us to first be humble and to submit ourselves to God.

Once we have humbled ourselves before God and submitted ourselves to the power of God and the will of God, then we are to cast all our cares on Him. Why? Because He cares for us. It's not that He doesn't want to hear our concerns and our worries if we aren't completely and perfectly humble, it's just that God gives us freewill and if we aren't submitting ourselves to God then we aren't allowing Him to handle our problems. We are instead choosing to try and handle them on our own which actually causes more disappointment and worry!

Finally, the last thing that really spoke to me was Brother Frank's analogy. This passage tells us to be alert adn stand firm when facing the enemy. Brother Frank said that when he played baseball in high school he was a catcher but he was a small catcher compared to most of the other players. His coach told him that because he was smaller than the other players he was going to get run over. No and ifs or buts about it. They would see his size, assume he was no challenge, and they would charge the plate. The coach told him that his job was to stand firm, take the hit, and hold on to the ball for the win. If he didn't stand firm when taking the hit then he would get hurt. However, if he could stand firm while taking the hit and still hold onto the ball then he would survive the impact and they could win the game. Then he related it. As Christians, we are small against the world. We will take hits in our lives. It's our jobs to stand firm. We need to hold onto our faith and to God so that we too can win the game and defeat the enemy. Then there will be true joy and rejoicing in our lives. We won't be living in disappointment anymore. We will have victory over the enemy. We will have victory over the depression we have been fighting. All the hits will make sense and they will be worth it.

So join me today in standing firm. Hold on to God. Hold on to faith. Defeat the enemy!

Getting a Haircut

Last night I went and got a haircut. I really like my new style. I am back to a short look, which I must say Jimmy enjoys. He told me that I should never let my hair grow as long as I had it in high school (when we first met). I don’t think he likes to be reminded of the fact that he is eight years older than me or that I was only sixteen when we met while he was twenty-four (don’t worry! Romantic thoughts never even entered our minds at that point! Ew!). So to honor him, I have kept my hair well above my waist since he made that request.  :)
Although I really love my new hairstyle, it wasn’t the most important thing about getting my hair cut. I actually attempted getting my haircut Wednesday afternoon at the Fantastic Sam’s near my house, but I waited and waited and waited and they were never able to get me in before I had to leave for church. So that was a no go. Last night, I went to pick up some groceries at Wal-Mart and noticed that there was no waiting at their SmartStyle so on an impulse I walked in and got my hair cut. The most important part of my haircut experience was meeting Michelle, the stylist. It wasn’t just because my hair turned out awesome! Michelle really encouraged me and I hope that I was able to encourage her too.

In the typical manner of hairdressers, she started up a conversation as she shampooed my hair. We talked about the work I do at the Missouri Baptist Children’s Home, and the ministry opportunities that come with it. Then we started talking about our youth groups. Michelle works with the youth at her church, and although I could tell that we weren’t the same denomination it was still neat to feel the mutual bond of trying to lead students down the path that God has laid out for them. We talked for the duration of the hair appointment and now I know why things didn’t pan out on Wednesday. God wanted me to meet Michelle!

It just goes to show you that God has a plan for our divine appointments. Sometimes there’s a reason that things just don’t go the way we planned. Thank God for the times that you don’t miss out on an opportunity to encourage or be encouraged because of your agenda. God even has a plan for our haircuts!

Pulled Down

As you know, Jimmy is the youth minister at Villebrook Baptist Church and I work with him in the youth ministry. Last night, I saw another classic example of a student whose pride is getting the better of them. This student thinks that they are SUPER mature spiritually (and they are a good Christian) and that they can hang out with whoever they want, whenever they want because they are helping the other person and they are too strong to fall into temptation. This attitude makes me so sad. The Bible calls us to be holy and separated from the world (1 Peter 1:16; 1 Peter 2:9). There is a reason for this!

Picture This
Picture in your head a diving board that’s two feet above the water. You are standing on the very end of the diving board and your identical twin is in the water below you. If you try to pull this person (who is exactly the same height and weight as you) out of the water bellows, 9 times out of 10 you are going to end up in the water! Now imagine that this person is twice your size and the odds of you getting them out of the water rather than you falling in becomes even more unlikely. So how does this apply to life?

Life Application
As a Christian you are called to be on the “diving board”. You should adhere to higher morals, higher standards, and you should remain above board in all that you do. Yes, God does call you to reach down and try to pull the people out of the pool who are drowning in their sins. However, if you are spending all your time pulling and pulling and trying to bring people up to your level, eventually you won’t have the strength to crawl out of the pool when you get pulled in. When this happens you will find that you too are soaked to the bone with sin and bad choices and low moral standards. That’s why you need to surround yourself with other Christians. They can not only help you pull people out of the pool. They can give you a rest when you are weary and hold you accountable on how close you are to falling in. Your Christian brothers and sisters should be your closest friends. They should be the ones you are relying on. If your closest friends are the people that are constantly pulling down on you that is SO not healthy for you spiritually. They can’t revived your spirit or lift you up. In fact, they will probably grab a hold on you when you fall in and practically drown you.

Closing Remarks
So while it is good to witness to people and to have non-Christian friends in your life, I urge you to keep them at a distance. Don’t depend on them to be your best friend or to always be there for you (Christ is the only one who will never let you down). Let your “inner circle” be filled with your Christian friends who should do everything in their power to build you up and not to tear you down. Don’t get caught up in the pride that makes you blind to your own weakness. If you do then you will fall.

Recharging Your Batteries

You know you need to re-charge your batteries when:

1. You are tired all the time
2. You have no joy or enjoyment of what you are doing
3. You loathe preparing for work/ministry/other
4. You find yourself becoming angry that you are associated with a particular activity you used to love.

Lately, I have found myself with many of these burn out symptoms. I have also seen them in Jimmy too. It is scary and un-enjoyable to experience. Yet so many ministers and minister's wives experience burn-out. It can make you feel guilty for "hating" what you do or it can leave you feeling stuck or depressed. So what do you do about it? How can you fight it? What exactly is it?

What is Burn-Out?

Burn-out is emotional and sometimes physical exhaustion related to activities you perform or participate in. I hope that is a little clearer than mud! When you are burned out you don't want to have anything to do with the activity or people causing these feelings. This is a VERY bad thing when you work in any type of ministry. So...

How to Re-Charge Your Batteries

Recovering from burn-out can take time. Don't feel guilty if you can't find a "quick fix". I have found that the longer you continue to perform while burned out, the longer it will take you to re-charge your batteries and recover. Just the same as many other problems in life, early detection is key in fighting burn-out/recovering from it. Here are some of my ideas for re-charging your batteries:

Number One: Spend time relaxing both alone and with your spouse.

It's okay to take a break. Even if you are the only two in the whole ministry. Sometimes you just have to stop. Remember that a Need doesn't necessitate a Calling. God wants you to succeed and He wants you to Enjoy the work He has called you to do and He wants you to Take Care of yourself. You can do all these things by practicing balance. It's a hard thing to do but you have to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no".

Number Two: Don't be Afraid to Ask for Help

To prevent burn-out it is important to learn how to delegate responsibilities and lead your team toward a common goal. Dividing the pressure and responsibility makes a strong support team where each person has a more bearable load. In re-charging your batteries, asking for help means bringing other people in as re-enforcements. Maybe you need to ask someone else to teach so you and your spouse can go away for the weekend. Or maybe you need someone to listen to the frustrations you are feeling. Or you might just need a shoulder to cry on. Just don't be afraid to ask for help.

Number Three: Spend Time with God

This probably should have been number one, but I honestly want to believe that you didn't forget this part so I am leaving it for last. Your relationship with God is your lifeline. If you aren't tapping into this life giving and renewing force every day, you aren't taking your Spiritual Vitamins and you aren't getting the nutrients you need. God knows what you need, when you need it, and why you need it. He is faithful to meet your needs, but you must be faithful in seeking Him and asking for His help. He is there every step of every day. Don't ignore Him. Don't forget Him. Spend time with Him. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He is the healer of our souls and emotions. Don't forget to reap the benefits of spending time with Him!

Closing Thoughts

There is no perfect formula for re-charging your batteries after burn-out. Each person is different. What works for me probably won't work for you and vice versa. I simply wanted to give you some of the tools you will need to figure out a strategy that WILL work for you. However, I want to open this up to you....

How do You Re-Charge Your Batteries?

Please post your re-charge strategies below.

the Friendship Issue

A couple of days ago, I was having a really crummy day. I woke up in pain. I had to get everything ready for the day. I was disappointed that my plans had fallen through, and in short nothing was going right. I really needed a girlfriend that I could talk to, vent to, and who would give me a big hug in the end. The problem was that I didn't have a girlfriend like that readily available to me. The question is "Why not?". This is what I call the Friendship Issue.

What is the Friendship Issue?
Friendship is one of the best gifts that God has put into our lives, but why does it have to be so hard? Then you add the fact that you are married to a minister into the equation and it makes things infinitely harder. Why?

Friendship is harder when you are in ministry or married to someone in ministry for a couple of reasons.

Number 1: You must surround yourself with people who are holding to a high Christian standard and won't bring you down all the time. You're getting enough people tearing you down without your friends doing it too.

Number 2: Your friends MUST be able to keep your confidences without it affecting the way that they view your church, your ministry, or even you. This is why I personally find it very hard to have intimate friends in my own church. In general, they can't separate your struggles from what's going on in the church.

Number 3: When you are in ministry you will probably relocate several times and distance can often cause problems in maintaining friendships.

How Do I Solve the Friendship Issue?
When I have days like the one above, what do I do? I am still learning this myself, but so far this is how I have learned to handle it. If you have any helpful suggestions I am more than willing to hear them as I am still learning in this area.

Number 1: First and foremost, I turn to God. I pray and tell Him how I am feeling. I ask Him to show me how to get through this.

Number 2: I have developed a small core of women (most of whom are other ministry wives) that I trust implicitly and who I know care about me. Most of all they know what I am going through because they have most likely gone through it to. These are the women I call when I need to vent, to cry, to share my joys, or to chat.

Number 3: Never be afraid to ask for help. If your tried and true friends aren't available, God can and will meet that need through someone else. Pray about it of course, but I am sure that you have a bunch of godly women in your life that have been wives much longer than you have and who are more than willing to listen to you and comfort you and help you. Just make sure that they aren't the church busy-bodies. Use common sense and good judgment but don't be afraid to reach out to these women. They may be the most unexpected blessing of the day.

Closing Thoughts
I know that this isn't a fool proof method and I know that many of us have and probably will be burned by friendships again but you can never stop making friends. If you cut yourself off from the world you won't be able to handle life. It is important that no matter how many bad hands life deals to us that we just keep on living. The best way to do this is through forgiveness, faithfulness, and friendship...but that's another story

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."