Heart of Worship from SURVIVING Student Ministry

Good morning, everyone! I am sure that you have all hear me talk about my husband, Jimmy, about a thousand times on here. Jimmy is an amazing man and an amazing youth minister who just happens to write two blogs--one for ministry and one for entertainment. Today, I want to share with you a link to his recent post on worship. It's called Heart of Worship.

I don't know about you, but working with teenagers we often hear complaints. "I like this but I don't like that." or "Why do we have to do things this way? Why can't we do them my way?" You name it and we (and probably you) have heard it.

A not great trend we have been noticing is that this extends to church. Jimmy's post deals with having a heart of worship no matter what the worship style but talking about what worship really is. I encourage you to read his post and to leave him a comment. It would really encourage him and it might even encourage you!

READ Heart of Worship NOW

More Resources:
Jimmy's Ministry Blog: SURVIVING Student Ministry
Jimmy's Movie Blog: the 365 Blog Challenge
Jimmy's Blogger Profile
Our Church Website

the Super Bowl and Other Things that Cause Stress

Last night was Live Out Loud Student Ministries fourth annual Super Bowl Party. Our youth, college students, Jimmy and me, and a few of our adult leaders all gathered at the Nelson's house to watch the big game or play cards or play wii or just have a good time. It is usually one of the most laid back events we have every year. We gather at the church and bus the kids to the house. The kids bring drinks and any special snacks. We provide the  Game, the Wii, and pizza. Simple enough.

On the outside this year seemed just that simple too. Behind the scenes things were quite a different story. Over the past year our group has been going through some difficult struggles and transitions. Attendance has been up and down and tensions have been high. So as we called Little Caesar's Pizza to order 12 larges we prayed that there would be enough people there to eat them. In fact, the stress was so bad that Jimmy couldn't get a good night's sleep the night before.

I tried to tell him that everything would be fine and that kids would show up. Hey! It's the Super Bowl. There's free pizza! And although we do a devotion instead of watching the half-time show, most teens feel this is a non-threatening environment where they are not going to get preached out. So they would come.

But the whole week leading up to the party, we got phone call after phone call after Facebook message after text message of students who weren't coming--even some of our dependable regulars! It was discouraging and added to the already mounting disappointment.

Finally Super Bowl Sunday gets here and the phone calls start again. Only this time they are students who haven't been in months who wanted to let us know they were coming. It was a total 180. In the end, we ate 10 out of 12 pizzas. We had so much fun routing for our teams. We had about 30 or so students and adults, but most importantly God provided! He blew our minds and made us feel foolish for stressing out in the first place instead of trusting that He would take care of it. Even if it was just a Super Bowl Party. There was no need to stress. God is in control and always has been.

"Look at the nations and watch--be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

Missions & Ministry

This is our whole mission team. Villebrook Baptist Church & the Harrison Baptist Association.

Whew! Just got back from a week of ministry in inner-city Memphis, Tennessee. Jimmy and I took our youth group on their third mission trip this year. The previous two years we went to Springfield, Missouri, but this year we were allowed to take them a little farther out of their comfort zones.

We used the eight days that we were on mission trip to teach and reach. Our teens had classes in the mornings to challenge their brains and equip them mentally for life and missions work. In the afternoon, we took them to their ministry sites to get down and dirty with people who live in extreme poverty. One team was doing street witnessing. Whether they were feeding the homeless at Church Without Doors or handing our water bottles in the Memphis heat, their real purpose was to share the love of Jesus Christ. Our other team did a vacation Bible school for an inner-city church that couldn't afford to do one for themselves. They loved on kids, fed them snacks, taught them songs, and connected them to people in the church who would continue to help them long after we had gone.

The week was long and hot but much good was done. I saw our students gain a new appreciation for their physical possessions and for their families. I saw children who came broken hearted leave with a smile on their face because they had found a small piece of hope and happiness. I saw God move.

I would suffer all the heat and heartache in the world to have the joy of seeing people come to Jesus!

Vacation Bible School

Vacation Bible School (VBS)…so much fun and yet oh so tiring! Let me tell you I am totally exhausted and I still have two nights left! The best part about VBS is getting to meet a bunch of different kids that you didn’t know before. This week, we have met seven new kids so far and I am sure there will be more tonight. Jimmy and I are teaching the 5th & 6th grade class with the help of Dustin, Kevin, & Shelby. The whole point of the way we structure this class is to help get these kids ready to be a part of the youth group. We want them to know what to expect now that they are old enough to be a part of the “big kids.”

Every year, we take one specific night where someone shares the plan of salvation with the kids. Then the teachers answer any questions the children have and if they want we can pray with them and help them to ask Christ to become a part of their lives. Well last night was that night. Pastor John shared the salvation message and offered the children a chance to pray to receive Christ and then told them to talk to their teachers about it if they “prayed the prayer.” Two of girls approached me and for some reason I got really nervous. It happens to me every year. I don’t know why I get nervous when I counsel youth and children about the gospel…I just do. Give me an adult any day and I am great. Give me a kid and my heart starts racing and I have to work twice as hard. I guess I worry that they won’t understand.

I guess I just have to realize that ultimately it’s not about whether I can make them understand. God uses the Holy Spirit to speak to their hearts and He will help them to understand. I simply need to be there to be a tool He uses to teach those children about His love. Yes, some kids pray a prayer that they don’t fully understand, but there are other kids who have really felt the movement of God’s Spirit in their hearts and lives. I am not worthy of being the judge of which kids are which. Thankfully, it is God’s job—not mine! I just need to let go and let God.

Let go today and let God use you to speak His truth.

When Life Throws You a Curve

It was Sunday afternoon. The stress had been mounting. Then the pain started…and Jimmy’s back went out. This hasn’t happened in the past four years, but when it happens it is horrible! When his back goes out Jimmy can’t do anything without pain. Sitting causes pain. Standing causes pain. Laying down causes pain. Reclining in his chair causes pain. Going to the bathroom…well you get the picture.

As a result, I was put in charge of leading youth last night. Trust managing twenty-five teens virtually on your own is not at the top of my “Fun Things to Do” list. Truth be told, I got so stressed out about it that I felt physically ill by the time 7:00 rolled around, and I had a bad attitude about it all afternoon. I wished that two of our most experienced college helpers weren’t out of town for a funeral. I wished Jimmy was well enough to go with me. I wished that the adult who sometimes fills in for us didn’t have to be in prayer meeting last night. In short, I was really selfish and whiny about the whole situation.

Then God got my attention. He brought to my mind one of the verses I memorized a long, long time ago. “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” (Phil. 2:14-16) Okay, God. I get it. I feel convicted. I have been doing exactly what this verse tells me not to do. Plus, my attitude is keeping me from being a shining light, a representation of You, to the people around me. All they see is a grouch with a frown on her face. If they knew I was a Christian I am sure that they wouldn’t want to be one! What a shame.
But God didn’t stop there…

After convicting my sinful attitude and actions, God reminded me of another memory verse. “And me know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified he also glorified.” (Rom. 8:28-20) I couldn’t believe it! God took the time to encourage me and to remind me of His promises even though I had messed up! Even if we don’t get to go to the Cardinals’ sluggie game on Friday or go on our anniversary trip to see our friends in Arkansas, God has it all under control and He is working it together for good. Why? He predestined it! It is our destiny. God knows the beginning, middle, and end or our story. Nothing escapes Him. He has called us through it and justified us in it. In the end, He will get all the glory from the good outcome He will bring to us. Yes, we may not see the good that will come from these momentary troubles until many years later, but rest assured…God ALWAYS keeps His promises.

So when life throws you a curve, STOP complaining and START looking forward to the good that will come!

Getting a Haircut

Last night I went and got a haircut. I really like my new style. I am back to a short look, which I must say Jimmy enjoys. He told me that I should never let my hair grow as long as I had it in high school (when we first met). I don’t think he likes to be reminded of the fact that he is eight years older than me or that I was only sixteen when we met while he was twenty-four (don’t worry! Romantic thoughts never even entered our minds at that point! Ew!). So to honor him, I have kept my hair well above my waist since he made that request.  :)
Although I really love my new hairstyle, it wasn’t the most important thing about getting my hair cut. I actually attempted getting my haircut Wednesday afternoon at the Fantastic Sam’s near my house, but I waited and waited and waited and they were never able to get me in before I had to leave for church. So that was a no go. Last night, I went to pick up some groceries at Wal-Mart and noticed that there was no waiting at their SmartStyle so on an impulse I walked in and got my hair cut. The most important part of my haircut experience was meeting Michelle, the stylist. It wasn’t just because my hair turned out awesome! Michelle really encouraged me and I hope that I was able to encourage her too.

In the typical manner of hairdressers, she started up a conversation as she shampooed my hair. We talked about the work I do at the Missouri Baptist Children’s Home, and the ministry opportunities that come with it. Then we started talking about our youth groups. Michelle works with the youth at her church, and although I could tell that we weren’t the same denomination it was still neat to feel the mutual bond of trying to lead students down the path that God has laid out for them. We talked for the duration of the hair appointment and now I know why things didn’t pan out on Wednesday. God wanted me to meet Michelle!

It just goes to show you that God has a plan for our divine appointments. Sometimes there’s a reason that things just don’t go the way we planned. Thank God for the times that you don’t miss out on an opportunity to encourage or be encouraged because of your agenda. God even has a plan for our haircuts!

TIME & LOVE the Languages of Discipleship

When I was growing up I had many youth leaders that were single females, but never had the advantage of having a youth minister with a wife. Now here I am and I am the youth minister's wife and I am wondering what I can give to these girls that those youth leaders were never able to give to me. Looking back, I realized that more than anything I wanted a strong, godly female to take me under her wing, to spend time with me, to love me, and to disciple me. I think that I would have given almost anything to have that kind of influence in my young life! When I met Jimmy I loved the way that he would combine the discipleship, love, and time into one technique and that's when I began to realize that time and love are inseparable parts of what discipleship is. In fact, they are the languages in which the lessons of discipleship are communicated!

What is Discipleship?
As I thought about discipleship and what it means to be discipled, I would get the dictionary definition of discipleship. According to Dictionary.com (because who has a real dictionary these days), the use of discipleship as a verb is obsolete! I couldn't believe it! I mean it literally says, "–verb (used with object) Obsolete. to teach; train." Do we really disciple so little that the very use of the word discipleship has become obsolete. What a shame.

Of course when you are looking for an example of what discipleship is what better example than we have than Jesus. I mean where do you think the word discipleship comes from? When Jesus called His 12 disciples, He called them to live life with Him. It wasn't a meeting that they had once a week for an hour or only on the Sabbath -- it was a life lived together, teachable moments, and so much more. So let's break it down and look at the two key ways that discipleship lessons can be communicated to your students.

Discipling with TIME
I have heard it said that once you have spent 10,000 of deliberate practice in your field; you can officially call yourself an expert. As Christians we should desire to be experts at following Christ, and as youth workers and spouses we should want our students to become experts in following Christ as well. I would hazard to guess that by now most of us realize that the majority of teenagers (and some adults) are way to commit 10,000 hours to anything other than video games and TV without someone else helping and encouraging them. This is where discipling with TIME comes into play.

When you spend time with someone you are building a lasting and influential relationship. If someone who you spend lots of time with asks you to do something or not to do something you are more likely to follow through than if some complete stranger asks you to do it. Why do you think that so many teenagers have problems with peer pressure? If you want to make an impact in the lives of your teens, you need to spend time with them outside of the church. Go out to eat. Go to the movies. Have them over for dinner. Spend some 1 on 1 time with them (or 1 on 2 if your spouse is available to hang out too). Let them know that they aren't lost in the crowd. They are important and you do care about them. I realize that it isn't possible to spend 1 on 1 time with every single student, but with a little prayer and observation God will show you the ones that will really benefit from the time you invest in them. Use the life moments and memories you experience together to teach them about what it means to live your life as a Christian outside of church. Show them how you deal with things like death or births or whatever life throws your way. The most important thing is that you are investing TIME in them. Now let's talk about LOVE.

Discipling with LOVE
I would hazard a guess that 99.9% of us have heard the saying "LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E" and now you're thinking "Didn't we just talk about time?". That's right we did so the great news is that you are getting a 2-for-1 deal today! Isn't that awesome! The reason I pull this out separately is that I want you to focus just a moment on the words you use to communicate must be words of love. Ephesians 4:15 says, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Without words of love we won't mature mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. God designed love to be the fertilizer of our lives. It helps us to grow big and strong and to produce fruitful crops. Words of love are vitally important to our survival!

The best thing about using words of love is that even when you have hard truths or corrections to communicate, when you use words of love the situation has the potential to come to a positive end. SO I encourage you to spend time telling your youth how great they really are. Encourage their potential. Speak the truth in love. Don't use negative nicknames or tear them down just because you can. Take time to grow and mature the seeds of potential that God has planted in their lives. Come on you can do it! It just takes a little genuine love.

Dealing with Rebellious Students

As youth workers, we have all encountered the students who come to church because it’s something for them to do on Sundays and/or Wednesdays. Their apathy has become ignored and accepted and their actions annoy us but don’t surprise us. But the ones who really break your heart are the rebellious students. When I say “rebellious” here I am referring to the students who are actively involved in every part of your youth group, they show great potential, they come to you and ask you to keep them accountable, and when you keep them accountable like they asked they tell you to “butt out!” So what do you do with these rebellious students? Do you cut them off? Do you pretend like nothing happened and continue as if they never asked you to hold them to a higher standard? Where’s the balance between love and indulgence? Let me tell you that I don’t have all the answers. But I can share a couple of principles I try to keep in mind when dealing with these rebellious youth.


Number One: Don’t Hold a Grudge
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Trust is a big issue for me and I find it especially hard to let go of the hurt I feel when I have been told to “butt out” by a student who came to me and asked for my help, especially if it’s a student that I have personally invested a lot of time and energy in mentoring. But with out forgiveness, the relationship will shrivel and die. Yes, what they said and did hurt my feelings but I can’t continue in un-forgiveness because then I am the one with the sin problem.


Number Two: Show Discipline Mixed with Love
Revelation 3:19 “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.”

I thought about using the word “consequences” here instead of discipline but I decided on discipline because that’s what God does, He disciplines His children so that they will repent and turn from the wrong path. So let me encourage you in this…Don’t discipline out of anger or to get even or to cut them out of your life. Discipline them because you love them and want them to make the right choices in the future. When you mix discipline with love the punishment always fits the crime, so to speak. If youth aren’t living the life they should be then they shouldn’t be in leadership. If they aren’t showing up for practices they shouldn’t be in the band or on the drama team. If you have the wrong attitude and are showing disrespect, you shouldn’t be rewarded for these actions. Reward the actions that you want to encourage and give reasonable consequences for the actions which need to be curbed and/or eliminated.


Number Three: Be Willing to Move On
Philippians 3:12-14 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Don’t dwell on the past and expect students to rebel every time. Self-fulfilling prophecies often come true because we act according to what we expect to occur so it happens because we assumed it would. From day to day and year to year, your students will grow and change just as you do. Sometimes the changes are quick and sometimes they aren’t positive but rest assured that change will happen. So why expect them to be the person that they were before? Yes, remember where you have come from. Learn from it, but don’t set up camp in the past. Get to the point where you are willing to allow these students opportunities to regain trust through making good decisions and being faithful in their commitments. Be willing to let them show you that their attitude has changed. Never forget where you have come from and the things that you have experienced because these are the things that impact and shape who you are, but always move forward.


These principles are not the perfect solution but hopefully they help you as they have helped me.